Archive for the positive affirmation Category

Learn to like yourself first….

Posted in BlackBerry, friends, improving one self, like myself, positive affirmation on June 14, 2009 by TferThomas

Many of you would have heard of the term “people pleaser” I am sure, but if you haven’t, allow me to explain. In my words, a “people pleaser” is a person whose main aim is to please others, and quite often, that is to the detriment of themselves (in other words, putting others’ needs and wants before their very own).

Now, I am no psychologist, but this is not good for your self esteem, your positiveness, your motivation to develop as an individual, or more importantly, to like yourself as a person. By concentrating on others, you are not focusing on yourself (and I don’t mean in a conceited way).

How can others like you, if you don’t like yourself?

You really need to understand who you actually are, accept who you are, and be the best person you can be, while all the time remembering who you are.

If you can’t be yourself, how can you strive to be a better person, or grow as the person you are? If you try to be someone you are not, you are not being true to yourself, and you simply cannot grow as the person you are.

But wait, what about striving to be a better person and so become a different person as a result? Sure this is fine, but in the end, you really don’t know how you will develop…. all the fun of developing yourself and going on life’s journey…. your journey. Note this clearly however, you do not know the end, or where you will end up…. if you think you do, then you are not being true to yourself.

Importantly, accept who you are and what your limitations are…. for me, I acknowledge the fact I am hopeless at most sports, not comfortable in fixing problems with Windows on my PC, but I know I am a hopeless romantic, I am a good listener, a reasonable networker, and a whiz on my BlackBerry. I have only listed a few things here, but you get the idea….

So one thing which helps me is to write down a list:

  • Things I am good at
  • Things I am not good at and will never be good at (normally, these are not important to me)
  • Things I am not good at but could become good at (my goals for improving myself)

Every month, review the list and map your development, watching how the first list (good at) increases while the last list (improving) reduces…. I am on my way to accepting myself as for who I am, which in turn, opens the door for other people to see me as “me”. Friendship may, or may not develop, but if it develops, it is real.

Hope this helps. My thoughts for now,



Paying it forward….

Posted in Pay it forward, positive affirmation, respect on December 1, 2008 by TferThomas

I have mentioned this term in a number of other places, but the concept, Paying it Forward, is such a simple yet hugely worthwhile theology, it deserves another mention.

Some could call it Karma, and although they are closely related, they aren’t the same. Karma can have both positive and negative influences on your life, some even life changing (you would have heard the term “bad karma”).

Paying it Forward can only have positive influences on your life… starting with the feel good lift in your day. Let me explain… how may of you have done something nice to someone unknown (you know, perhaps held a door open to a complete stranger), and the other person said thank you and smiled. How did that make you feel? Now, unless you were that engrossed in your thoughts about you and your day, the feedback would have warmed you… albeit perhaps briefly. You have just Paid it Forward.

So, it’s clear to say that most of us at some stage or another, have Paid it Forward. It’s not that difficult.

Paying it Forward comes from the heart and your roots in common decency, with perhaps a touch of gallantry thrown in for good measure. It doesn’t have to be an awe inspiring good deed, and definitely not contrived.

By assisting someone else, who is known, or unknown to you, Paying it Forward empowers the other person to continue on their journey of life, along a path smoother than before. This may / may not allow them to be in a position where they too can Pay if Forward to someone else. And as the process of Paying it Forward goes about its journey, what goes round, does come round. Someone may actually Pay it Forward to you, when you least expect it, but maybe in a time of most need.

I am absolutely certain I have been the fortunate recipient of Paying it Forward and I have been hugely blessed as a result of the timely assistance from left of field. Just when you felt life was at its darkest, and there was no hope, something happened, or someone came along and gave a helping hand. And I know that at no stage could any of it have been planned.

I have found twitter ( a shining example of global Paying it Forward. Sure, it is a social and business networking tool, but I have seen many examples whereby someone has supplied a helpful tweet to someone in need. Nice one!

Life does move in mysterious ways… be a part of the positive side of the mystery… Pay if Forward. What do you have to lose?

My thoughts and twitters for now,